4 words: hood of his car
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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