oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
