Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
