There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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