he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize