me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
