Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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