Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
