you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
