we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
