That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
