if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you would pick up someone in the library
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
