So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
birth control should be required to get into college
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
