if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
