mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
50% drunk capacity currently
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
