I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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