didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
