Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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