sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
