I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
