i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
