We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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