I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
