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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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