marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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