Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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