guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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