Me. At least after what I've been through.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
