Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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