I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
