Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
