champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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