Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
im holly from the hills drunk
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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