God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
