Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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