So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize