You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
