Kiss
Puke
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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