does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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