Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize