how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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