giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize