i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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