if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Blood and glitter go together right?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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