The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
