We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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