Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
