what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
