Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
