I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
