You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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