five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
