His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
