I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
