smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
