I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
