well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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