dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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